`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
happiest dae of my life!
I can sae todae is the most happiest dae of my life. Why? I reconciled with Samantha. Been praying this for two long years. God finally accepted my "application" which i have been sending to Him every single dae. Praise the Lord! Samantha hasnt change a bit. She will talk to a person nicely..provided tt person do the same. And i cant believe on our first dae of reconcilation..i became real paranoid. I actually tot she blocked my IP address so tt i couldnt access her tagboard. So i asked one of her frens to access her blog and see whether she can access her tagboard. And i found out tt i was being real paranoid. She meant wad she sae, she decided to talk to me. I forgotten that Sam alwaes take things seriously. Sorry Samantha, i will try to be more trusting. Its been a quite a long time so dun blame me for being so paranoid...
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
flashbacking...
*ouch* i ripped my ankle during microprocessor technology lab session today. Guess I was reallie deep in thoughts at tt point of time. Didnt reallie pay attention to the lab todae...i was half listening half flashbacking. Flashbacking is sth which i tried to avoid at all cause. Yeah, you might have the chance to flashback some good memories, but whu noes wad u will flashback? Suddenly found out that I actually talked on the phone with her for quite a long time before...around a hour or so. That was our first phone chat..right after we met. I can sae she is the first girl whom can talk tt much with me even though we just met. I dun feel awkward toking to her after a while. I hope time could travel back. There is something which i can change to avoid the situation i m being now. But...time..no one can travel back in time. She wasnt the only one who is part of the flashback..Samantha was the other one. I remember the very obedient and sweet looking Samantha. I told her almost everything, she was the only girl I trust. I didnt reallie trust LC tt time...cuz i dun reallie noe her character. Seriously, Samantha kept me sane when I was at the verge of turning insane. We talked about anything, she never raised her voice or lose her temper in front of me. Really nice and sweet. I dun reallie call that a backstab..must be out of my mind writing that in my previous post. I m reallie sorry samantha..if u manage to see my blog entries again. I remember asking her to help me end the cold war. Her last words to me on msn was "I will see what I can do. Dun worry, I will help you.". At that point of time, I was kind of relieved that I still have real strong frenship ties with one of her frens. But alas, after that conversation, she refused to reply my smses and msn messages again. I was...i dunnoe hw to describe my feelings at tt pt of time. I remember vaguely wad i was tinking. I only remember that i swam to and fro the swimming pool for 6 hours before coming up and took a two day MC. Why? What did you hear? Why did you hate me all of a sudden? I tried my very best to recouncile with her...but to no avail. Den Heng Hui, an ex classmate of mine told me this, "You have to be fiercer and more evil than her if you want her to submit to u." Yeah rite it doesnt work at all Heng Hui, nice try. I cr8 havoc in every blog of people she is close to...but she seems to hate me further. Damn it! Samantha, if you ever come back to this blog again, listen. I still treat you as my godsister, like before. If you think I blame you for everything, I want to let you know that I never blamed you for anithing. I am sorry..can we continue the brothers and sisters ties like before? Audrey might not want to talk to me ever again, i dun want to have ani more regrets in life. mvp_gaoxing@hotmail.com. If you think we can be like godsiblings like we did before, i hope you will add me...or leave ur email in my tagboard. And i m sorry about my prev. entry, becuz I came home late..tired becuz of school workload and was shocked to noe that i got someone into trouble becuz i forced her to tell me wad you said about me. Yes, i agree i m a sick bastard...someone who doesnt anithing good in life...
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
stop blaming others
This is wad u said to me two years ago: "stop blaming others". Can't believe i m using it on u tis time. The pot calling the kettle black arent you? Arent you doing the same thing? Pls learn from Melvin. Wadever he dun like abt me or disagree about me, he just tell it rite into my face. Yes I will feel pissed, but that only shows me that you are a person w/o ani thorns. Stop talking behind my back. You call tt a secret? Dun make me laugh. She is just being nice telling me that I have been cursed w/o even noeing it. Decent people cant keep secrets that is so hurtful to keep. Ok take as that she reallie betrayed ur trust....didnt u do the same to me before? And you leave me in a confused state without telling me what happen. Ya i noe i m like a toad trying to eat the swan's flesh, but i didnt sae i MUST have her. "Loving someone doesnt means you must have her". Nvr heard tis before? And i m telling you..i didnt go around spreading tt i like her okie. I m not siding anione here or speaking up for ani single person. It is just tt i had enough ok? i had ENOUGH! I accept ur apology but i tink u owe someone else an apology too. And dun feed her with ani other info do u understand me? Dun spoil someone else's frenship becuz u arent happie with me. Ur frenship with her is already very strong, you dun have to spoil her frenship with others. She have the rights to choose her frens. I m done toking. The F word, the B word or wadever nasty things u want to say abt me just bombard it on the tagboard. I dun care. Its my fault tt i put her pictures making her feel unsecure somehow..but only she have the rights to curse or stop me..not you. You are just her fren..so just do ur job as her fren.
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Food Junction...thank you..
Was thinking about her since the start of the first lecture. I didnt reallie get what the lecture was saying...sounds like a mosquito buzzing in my ear more like it. She was on my mind every single minute. When my friend send me the songs "彩虹天堂" and "心动心痛", I feel as if tears is trying to force themselves out of my eyes. Its been long since I last cried, not even since she rejected me. I remember it is after the rejection and humiliation of Yuting when I was Sec 1. She told me to look at the mirror before trying to woo girls, and even fake the puking expression. Before that, i was rather bold so i just speak my feelings out openly. So from tt dae onwards, I chose to keep everything inside. I felt miserable yes, but I never shed a single tear since the dae i haf decided to do tt. But still, I shed tears even though i control myself. I think I am reallie serious about her. I noe Samantha is going to call me a sick bastard again. Seriously, I dun care, tinking of someone you like is not wrong at all. I met her at FJ when Chiu Yen and me went to look for a place for lunch. I was reluctant to go FJ at first, cuz i was afraid to meet her there. Chiu Yen laughed and said nt everydae is Sunday, so the probability of meeting her is low. However, she seems to be the first familiar faces I saw in FJ. The moment I saw her, I quickly pulled Chiu Yen out of FJ, making a stupid excuse saying FJ is sort of crowded. But I think she noes whu i saw. She has changed so much since I last saw her. Taller and she looked more mature. Totally different from the hyperactive girl I seen when she is sec 1. She was smiling sweetly when I saw her. When was the last time I saw her smile? I reallie missed her smiles. The last time when I saw her was during the sports dae. I didnt get to see her smile, she was frowning. I was tinking luckily i didnt sae hi to her or she will start frowning. I want to see her smile, and would risk anithing to make her happie. If this is the RPG Final Fantasy VIII Scenario...she is Rinoa Heartilly. But... I guess I can never be her Squall Leonhart...
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
songs tt i listen when i tink abt her...
心动心痛
歌手：刘耕宏
宏:黑夜渗透了想念 偷不走微光闪现的千种画面
我背着伤痛离开 孤单拖着记忆支离破碎
欣:原以为不会改变 眼泪在脸颊上干枯失去知觉
合:我的心挣脱了爱 跟随着夕阳埋进了海洋
合:为什么相爱的人却又为爱而纷争 现实的翅膀
扰乱了原本幸福的气氛 我有我的过错 我有我的
疑惑藏在面对面的折磨背后 为什么让爱躲进乌云
密布的天空 随着风漂流在外一点一点的散落
慢慢远离的梦渐渐冷却冰封心痛都当初相遇的心动
欣:原以为不会改变 眼泪在脸颊上干枯失去知觉
合:我的心挣脱了爱 跟随着夕阳埋进了海洋
合:为什么相爱的人却又为爱而纷争 现实的
翅膀扰乱了原本幸福的气氛 我有我的过错
我有我的疑惑藏在面对面的折磨背后
为什么让爱躲进乌云密布的天空
随着风漂流在外一点一点的散落
慢慢远离的梦 渐渐冷却冰封
心痛当初相遇的心动
宏:慢慢远离的梦
欣:渐渐冷却冰封
合：心痛当初相遇的心动
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
彩虹天堂
歌手：刘耕宏
我不知不觉又徘徊在从前秋
风悄悄的呼唤听来尽是孤单
落叶的期盼片片左右为难心
走寂寞攀跟著飘进黑暗我
不闻不问也许好过一点被遗憾
关在房间挣扎只是拖延无望
的空谈一声声的轻叹回忆扯不断
怎黱摆脱纠缠
副歌
找不到方向往
彩虹天堂有你说的爱在用幸福触
摸忧伤两个人相守直到白发苍苍
自由的飞翔在灿烂的星光找不到
方向往彩虹天堂有你说的爱在
用幸福触摸忧伤两个人相守直到
白发苍苍自由的飞翔在灿烂的
星光有你在我身旁
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
情画
歌手：刘耕宏
画上的油彩早已被风干
该怎么来完成我不明白
记忆的图案放在旧货摊
我担心会有谁懂的疼爱
雪白的礼服挂在那等待
淡淡的灰朦有一丝悲哀
教堂门已开而你却不在
玫瑰步道看不到末端
副歌
我孤单我不安思绪被
封住了口黑夜却还是
不罢手强颜欢笑背后
在暗淡中摸索
我祈祷只愿你听得到
从分开到现在我过的
我在习惯伤痛却依然
在扩散
时间不听使唤为回忆上了锁
这段情我已放不开
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
touched tt there r still true frens in tis world
I finally found out wad happened two years ago...tt incident which made me lose quite a few frens. And I was shocked that LC actually trusted me despite that rumour because even Samantha, the girl whu has been my good fren listened and believed the rumour. Tis is wad LC told me online when i ask her why she trusted me:
Squall Leonhart-------[others cant hear me when I call for them..so I dun believe in counting on others] says:
whoa there
Squall Leonhart-------[others cant hear me when I call for them..so I dun believe in counting on others] says:
i 1 2 ask u...how come u trusted me despite shujuan spreading tt rumour
Squall Leonhart-------[others cant hear me when I call for them..so I dun believe in counting on others] says:
so did u get my qn?
'|I-thirteenoct05-I|' 小朋友，该上学了哦！STILL DRAWING! says:
i trusted you because you are my friend
'|I-thirteenoct05-I|' 小朋友，该上学了哦！STILL DRAWING! says:
i dont care how others gossip about others esp
'|I-thirteenoct05-I|' 小朋友，该上学了哦！STILL DRAWING! says:
friends
at tt pt of time i was so touched. So i was wrong all tis while. There r still true frens tt u can trust. ｉ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｌｉｋｅ ｔｏ ｓａｅ ｔｉｓ ｔｏ ｈｅｒ：
THANK YOU ＴＡＹ ＬＩ ＣＨＵＥＮ！
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Gospel according to Matthew(Chinese, NIV and KJV version)
"为什么看见你弟兄眼中有刺，却没想自己眼中有梁木呢?"
《马太福音7：3 》
"你这假冒为善的人! 先去掉自己眼中的梁木，然后才能看得清楚，去掉你弟兄眼中的刺。
《马太福音7：5 》
English NIV Version:
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
Matthew 7:3
"You hypocrite, first take the plank out from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye"
Matthew 7:5
English KJ Version:
"And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?"
Matthew 7:3
"Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out from thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye"
Matthew 7:5
Read this before you judge others. I bet you havn't been reading the Bible. How can you call yourself a Christian without reading the Bible?
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
I just cant believe my eyes!
It is reallie unbelievable to see tt she actually link me up. Well...though it means nth..still I would like to thank her for linking me up. Tis time, tt irritating idiot didnt come and harass my blog. I dun reallie hate anione, but i just want to tell tt person sth: If u r a REAL God's ambassador, DO NOT JUDGE! You can write tis phrase in ur blog, but why arent u doing it? And moreover u are in no position to judge me, cuz u dunnoe me well. Not even my parents noe me well, they cant judge me too, they can only change me. U r trying to put me down, not change me. Only the Lord knows me best. He is the only One whom I will answer to you in future after my death, not you. You can destroy my body, but you cant destroy my soul. So i m telling you this, i am not scared of you for I only fear the Lord. Taunt me all you want, I will only treat your taunts as some old man singing terribly in his bath. Thanks to all my frens and brothers/sisters of Christ for alwaes being there for me. I am fine reallie...i dun care how the world judge me because it is of no value.
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Finally..i found her blog..
After tt incident on her prev. blog, i tink she discontinued her blog and hide her blog address from me. But i managed to find her new address todae when i carefully looked at her profile. But i dunno wad to write...so i just barely asked her to link me, if she wants it. I hope none of my frens will harass her again, making me lose her blog address, should she change blog again, i doubt i will be so lucky to find it again. It was almost camouflaged in her profile and i finally saw a blog address in bold. Listen all my frens, just dun disturb her no matter wad happens. I dun 1 2 lose contact again...all i want is some kinda medium to see how she is doing. I dun expect anithing else..it is as simple as tt. If i noe anione come and harass her blog, i will take action against that person, even if you are my fren. Got tt?
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Countdown
I m left with 10 more daes before school starts. Finally, i haf been waiting for the school reopen. Might sounds crazie but it aint no lie. Poly vacations aint fun at all. Nothing to do at home, makes me tink of some bo liao stuff. At least going back to school will somehow lock my mind awae from all tis nonsensical memories. I dunnoe hw the "torturers" have for us tis sem but bring it on, i aint scared of the challenges u set for me, i will lay ur asses out!
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
chillin at Bugis
Went out to bugis todae with Alvin, Chiu Yen and Terry, Alvin's old fren. Very funny the wae those two communicate in hokkien, as if they r those old time gangsters whu used to roam the whole of Singapore. Three of them went into a Buddist shop to get something. Being a Christian, I have no business in there so i waited outside. And as i was waiting for dem to come out, i spotted a girl tending the casheir whu look so much like her. Chiu yen spotted me looking at her. Enough said, becuz Alvin automatically noes it too. He agreed too, many similar facial features. Haiz.. no pt..she will nv be mine, its just a dream...a dream which i will nv come out of it.
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Time flies despite the extreme boredom i suffered
I didnt actually notice tt todae is already thursdae, tot it was just the start of the week. Who saes time pass slowly when u haf nothing to do? It moves just as fast in my opinion. Gosh I did almost nothing todae. Woke up only at nine and still feeling dizzy. Then I remembered I promised Charl tt I will write her another testimonial. Gosh I feel tt I haf been manipulated by her. What a thing to sae! Nahz, I guess it has been long since i find a girl as easygoing as her. Well ya, other guys might think that I have countless female contacts, but I dun actually know them well. Charl is a real nice girl, just like her sis. She doesnt put airs just becuz she is pretty and elegant. She doesnt shun mi like other girls. Upon seeing my photos(being normal looking or even ugly), girls just said "oic" and stop toking to me or just appear offline even. Tis girl kept rattling on with me as if she known me for years. And she said things tt i bet no girls will bother telling me, apart frm her sis. And she is always there to cheer me up. Well...after mentioning tt, my boys are going to ask me to go for it i tink. Nahz...she is too good for me and definitely deserve a much better guy than me. Moreover, I will only go for girls whu can make me forget abt her totally. So far, Charl havnt reach tt level. Who noes wad will happen in future BUT if i reallie like her, I bet her sis is going 2 kill me! HAHA, just jk LC!
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
her testimonial....gone from my screen...
Been very bored for the whole day today, so i decided to review all the testimonials written by my frens. I remember she is the third person to write a testi for me, right after LC. However, i found out tt it is no longer there. Samantha's one is still there though..i bet she is regretting wad she wrote now. It is very clear isnt it? She wants to have nothing to do with me. Haiz..forget it..no use toking abt tt now.
Charlene's being very funnie todae. After she saw how i praised her in my blog, she asked me to copy and paste it into her testimonial. Haha, u r put me in the spot Charlene but nevertheless, i haf done it, hope u r happie=)
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Revival of the Dell™Dimension 5150
Finally, Dell™'s engineer came down to replace the faulty harddrive. So it aint me not taking care of the com, it is the com who refuse to accept my great hospitality. Just hope nothing bad happen to this com again. And alas, my Chinese tools gone cock up again! Now I cant read or write Chinese on this computer. Man i didnt have so much problems with Chinese on my so called "AE86" computer? Sometimes new coms arent as good as the old ones. But tis is so ridiculous, i spent 1.8k purchasing a piece of junk? Damn!
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
BASKETBALL!!!
Finally, I get to stretch my muscles fully by appearing once again in NYP's basketball court. Like a bird freed from the cage, I ran around the basketball court like nobody's business. But it rained in the late afternoon...grrrr..almost got drenched! Went home and log into friendster, and found out tt she had added some new photos. I realised why she doesnt want me after looking at the photos, she tinks i m a guy with no talents. Well, she is right in a wae. No girls want a guy with no talents, not much of security there. So at that moment, I have made my mind. I will start learning multiple musical instruments. I dun mind not being famous, i just want to learn some skills within my area of interest which is, music. First I will start from the easiest, guitar. I dun mind her not luving me in the end becuz i m not doing this for her sake, but for myself. For that, i would like to thank her for waking my mind up. Thank you very much.
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Another day at the Church
Another day at the church, the dae i haf been waiting for the whole week. My favourite speaker is speaking todae. His sermons are alwaes the funniest and yet motivative to Christians. Today he talked about God leading Isrealites out of Egypt. It is very funnie the wae he used Singapore as an example, the country which the people keep shifting to and fro although the island is smaller than the biggest iceberg on earth. And thinking abt it, i dun understand why Singaporeans r still unhappie abt our current government. They are doing a very good job governing this country. They are able to not only give every citizen a roof above their heads, but also leaving many empty units and apartments in case there is an increase in the population. And what are we doing? Migrating just because we cannot get a car or just to run away from National Service. This is too much! The least we can do is to feel that we belong here and for males, feel the need to protect our motherland. Thats not too much to ask. Met Charlene. LC's couz sis online yesterdae. She is reallie frenly and nice to tok to. The only girl whom i reckon will sing praises abt me. No girls ever sae tt i m cute. Finally meet a true female fren. After Samantha's incident, i couldnt bring myself to trust girls fully. However i sense a strong power of sincerity and faithfulness within this girl and i m quite sure history wun repeat itself this time. Charlene u rox!
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Dell System crashed
Argh! My com crashed after only a 100 days! What is wrong? Kaoz have to use my aunt's laptop. Cant play games. I m alreadi dying of extreme boredom and now i haf to live with only the television? Give me a break! And the technical support is only going to reply me on monday! ARGH! Wad m i suppose to do tis two daes???
eXiä
