Gundam 00 - Gundam Meister

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Clear pass or the death sentence

Time flies darn fast, tis coming fridae is my first exam paper, EG2010-Electronic Communications. Same as before, either clear pass the semester or the death sentence->repeat the failed module(s). This module isnt tt bad as Ben is still able to teach us and it is quite easy to take it in. Wad I am afraid is the module next mondae, Engineering Mathematics. Due to the incompetence of our maths lecturer, we couldnt understand the whole syllabus. It is a completely blindfolded module to the majority of us. I would be so thankful to God even if I only managed to scrape thru. Wads worse, the exam for maths is early in the morning, which means no more extra time to study. Reallie hope I can pass Maths too.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Clear pass or the death sentence

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
I am a human too

Have been very busy with CNY these two daes hence unable to update my blog. Home visiting is the most irritating thing during CNY. Well not exactly irritating, the receiving of red packets isnt tt irritating. Just that the relatives are alwaes asking the same old questions. "Do you have a gf/bf?" , "when r u getting married?" blah blah blah... I already noe wad they want to ask before they even ask me. I like to brush this topics aside sometimes, but this doesnt mean I am a cold blooded person with no feelings at all. I am a human too. I want to go into a serious relationship too. But look at wad happen? I am alwaes pushed around by ladies. I hate being a pushover, get it? I remember when I was Primary 5, although I havnt reallie learnt to like someone yet, someone set me up. He told a female classmate of mine that someone was in love with her. She was very delighted at first. But when he told her that the person is me, her reaction was so big that it reallie gives me a shock hw girls look at guys. She was like coughing and fake puking all the wae, as if I am some kinda freak. That didnt reallie pained my heart as I didnt reallie like tt girl. I didnt blame tt guy too. In fact, I want to thank him for showing me the ugly side of girls when I am just 11 years old. However, after tt incident, I didnt reallie take tt into heart as I thought we were still young, girls will change when they grow older. However, during Secondary 1, I began very grateful to my friend again for showing me the ugly side of girls. I was so sorry that I forgotten all abt it after my primary school graduation. Still being naive, thinking that girls will change when they grow older. Guess that I was wrong, I was stabbed emotionally by the first girl i actually like in my life. She asked me to look into the mirror before I woo others. From that dae onwards, my pride was hurt so badly that I was unable to stand up infront of girls, uptill now. I find it hard 2 forgive her, untill todae. She still tinks that the wae I woo girls is very irritating when in actual fact, it was her whu kept haunting mi when I was sec 1 along with those bitchy friends of hers, kept taunting me saying that I am a toad trying to eat swan's flesh. I didnt have a very good time in my secondary school. Try being looked down throughout ur 4 years of secondary education, see how would you feel. Only at the end of secondary 3, when I met Miss Melissa Yam. I dunnoe hw she behaves in the outside world, but from wad i can see from her as a teacher, she is a rather down to earth person. And speaking from my conscience, she was the one who actually built up my self-confidence before it was destroyed when I enter poly. I havnt had a chance to say this but if she comes across my blog, I would like to say Thank You to her. Thanks for being such a supportive mentor.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Freakin heartache last nite

Sorry I wasnt able to update yesterdae, having a sudden case of heartache. Yeah i meant heartache, H-E-A-R-T-A-C-H-E. Dun ask mi why, loads happen yesterdae to me emotionally. And when I faced myself in the mirror, I supposed its true. who didnt changed much despite telling everyone tt I would change in terms of looks. Well everyone has their own sad stories to tell. I am just simply constraint and controlled at home. I cant change myself simply buy going down to the salon and change the colour and style of my hair or to the optician to get a new spectacle frame/contact lenses. I cant do all this, my mother took awae all my authority to make my own decisions. You can say, "You can use your own savings, where r ur savings?" My savings is alwaes confiscated if my mum find it out. Anything which I want to buy, I have to go thru her. This time she went back against her word. She said she wants us all to have a change of specs since our specs are quite old. Wad now? My sis and bro can get a change of specs but not me becuz I am entering army nxt year. Den dun blame mi if ur 2nd son cant get himself a wife and continue the family line, leave it to the eldest son den.

I thought I will forget about acheiving my ambition of adopting children and nurturing them after yesterday. But when I woke up in the morning, the burning desire to nurture orphans was stronger than ever. I will make sure I nurture them into talents, and make sure they r popular among the opposite sex. I want them to be successful, without giving them too much stress. I will adopt two children for a start, naming them Near and Mello （黄尼亚与黄梅珞）I noe the reaction of some people, esp. those scum of the earth. "zzzz...Watch too much Death Note liao la" No. I have reason for that. I didnt meant tt I hope my sons would be like them. The kid whom I named Near, I hope he would be a smart prodigy but also a caring kid. Likewise, the kid that I named Mello, I hope he would be emotional, but alwaes remain calm in any situations. Get it? Something which both Near and Mello wants to acheive in the story.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
another decent girl found

I had mentioned in my previous post that the no. of decent girls i met in life, one can easily count with their 10 fingers. Well, I am glad that I have found another decent girl in my life. Jeanette is another decent girl whom I have met. I thought girls are all the same nowadays, u will meet the same old materialistic ones no matter where u find them. Little did I know I found another decent girl right in my friendster list. At first when we meet, I didnt reallie talk to her, cuz her voice is so much the same as Joanna's, makes my blood boil a little. However after getting a long in the JAE admission booth in RP, found tt she is a reallie jovial, friendly and a very down to earth girl. Wad do i mean by down to earth? We meant to took a bus from RP back to Woodlands Reg. Interchange. However, we dunno where is the bus stop after we crossed the overhead bridge. So I suggested jokingly to walk to the bus interchange and she agreed without ani complains. I wasnt prepared to take her seriously, so I took her to the next bus stop. My intention was to wait for a bus, but before i could sit down, she headed for the 2nd overhead bridge. This means that she wanted to continue walking all the wae. Reallie down to earth eh? Sounds like Joanna but definitely not Joanna

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
steamboat

Havnt had a traditional steamboat for quite some time now. Had one in Church just now. Everything went fine, except for the soup. It took a while before the bland soup turned tasty. All were smiling and laughing, I was trying my very best to facade the smile. I was still pretty hurt abt yesterdae. Imagine ur fav. sis said that u were veri irritating when u havnt open ur mouth, how would u feel? I thought she will apologise to me at nite, but my handphone was msg free all thru the nite. Even up till todae, I still didnt receive a single msg frm her.

Near, I finally understand why u didnt like socialising with others. Cuz u can nv differentiate between the people whu reallie treat u as a friend and those whu r just acting. When they want sth for me, or if i get sth they want. they will call me "kor". If not, they will just vent their anger on mi when they need to, or pretend they nv know mi. Cold, calm, unfeeling and unfriendly. Darren, bear tis in mind! COLD, CALM, UNFEELING AND UNFRIENDLY!!!

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Never be too nice

Today is day of the release of O levels results. Was pretty nervous as most of my godsisters are getting their results, I reallie hope they will score well. Well, my care and concern for them are a bit redundant. I didnt want to repeat the mistake I did two years ago, by neglecting Anna despite her being extra nice to me. So I tried to console one of my godsisters, whu didnt manage to do well. Well, it somehow backfired. Response from her was: "Can u dun call? You are very irritating." So wad do I have in mine now, never be too concern for anione. Sometimes they just dun give a damn. And I began to be more prejudiced against ladies now. Up till now, the number of decent girls I met in life u can easily count it with ur 10 fingers. Pathetic huh? Gees this world is changing...

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Terrible encounter

Had a terrible encounter today, but I shall not elaborate on it further here as I want to avoid having people talking behind my back. After this terrible encounter, I have decided that Near will be my role model from now on. Being cold and unfriendly will be new year resolution. I am not being childish or crazy, it is just that I dun see the bloody point of being friendly and caring towards others. I m very sure that I am being very nice by telling someone whom I havent met for quite some time to take care of herself. But her replies are so rude and cold that I started to think that she is someone whom i have never met before. But judging from the friends she is with now, it is no wonder that she changed. The friends whu are crowding around her now are spolit, childish, gothic and materilistic. Joining a charismatic church made things worse than her, I wonder if she knows the true meaning of Salvation. Well forget it, her friends made me suffer two long years, should be grateful God that I didnt just die within this two years.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
feeling terrible recently

Feeling kinda terrible recently, and I dunnoe why exactly. Perhaps been hurt emotionally recently. This feeling just haunts me frequently, no matter how long it had already happened. She didnt turned up despite promising me to come down, which made me left school with a broken heart. Now I finally realise that being rejected by someone isnt as bad as u think, at least you have attempted in courting her. Have u ever court a girl who gt herself attached right before u plucked up the courage to confess to her. Now the life is like hell to me. You dunno whether to avoid her or to get close to her. It is like a desperate fight within. Now I am dying to leave Singapore to further my studies, so that I can forget about the failures I had in Singapore. My aim now is to be like Near, lock my emotions awae from the outside world. Maybe I will feel better this wae. Adopt a few kids, making sure they acheive their dreams and live a normal life by getting a decent wife/husband and building up their family. That would be the happiest thing I would want to acheive in life.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
great dae

Had a great day over at Alvin's hse. I treat it as form of destressing myself before going full force academically. We went Causeway point to get that L handphone strap as my new handphone has no particular identity on it. Den went over Popular to check the price of the miniSD cards there, and realise that there is a big gap between the prices of Sandisk and Kingston miniSD cards. Can u imagine a 128MB Sandisk miniSD card cost more than a 1GB Kingston miniSD card? Lets see the difference shall we?

128MB Sandisk miniSD : $21.90

1GB Kingston miniSD: $18.90

Big difference aint it? Well glad that I am not reallie particular abt the brands of memory cards, or I will be still using 128MB memory cards now. Went over to NTUC supermarket after tt to get some snacks. Bought the pringles BBQ flavour. Some snacks to match up with the entertainment at his hse. We start off by watching Dragon Tiger Gates, before being engrossed with tt Mame32 Arcade Emulator. Completed the Dungeons and Dragons, but it jammed after we defeated the last king, so didnt reallie see the ending, sad.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Stressed up

Mathematics is a real disaster. I havent cultivated good mathematics skills since young, it has been my nemesis ever since I stepped into the Singapore education system. All my maths notes are in a mess and I need to photocopy someone else's notes to recopy everything nicely again. The problem is, who can lend me a complete set of Maths notes. I noe Alvin has a complete set of flawless Mathematics notes. But judging from the way he treated those who borrowed notes from him last week, I am going to be despised by him if I were to ask for a copy of his notes to recopy it. Ben cant lend me his cuz he doesnt have a complete set as he skip lectures quite often. Grrr....i desperately have to pass this module.

I am so stressed up and unable to post up a proper entry today, pls pardon me.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
On my own

In the ELP now posting. Today's schedule is abit cocked up, there is only maths lecture in the morning, so here I am slacking.

After the Maths lecture, I feel that I have to be on my own if I want to do well. For maths, the lecturer happens to be the most hateful lecturer who condemns me for no particular reason. I was wondering if I could get a refund this semester. Alvin offered his help, but in his position I can understand that he have no extra energy or time to assist me in my revisions. By the time I finish explaining my doubts and questions to him, he has to attend to CY again. Moreover they are an item, it is quite unpolite and rude to disrupt. So in the end, didnt get anything clear. Ben is worse. He has so many so called "disciples" tagging along with him. I realise that I hardly have the chance to ask him questions when we are together. Being able to clear pass all my exams up till now is God's blessings. But if I still dun get what I am tested during exams, I doubt God will bless me like He did before as He knows that it will do me no good by just passing w/o noeing why. That is why I have to be on my own as for now. Those who are able to teach me are always occupied. Blame it on my level of sociality, which is on par with Near.

eXiä