Gundam 00 - Gundam Meister

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Only one post a week

Well well well...looks like i can only post an entry once a week. My auntie changed the password of her laptop, so I wun be able to post entries using her laptop. My computer, still stubborn as it has alwaes been, refuse to let me log into blogger, kept redirecting and refreshing. Stoopid computer, wasted 1.8k on a piece of junk.

Oh yes I have seen the two recent tags on my tagboard. Thanks for tagging, my tagboard hasnt been moving for ages. Well. tts exactly wad i meant isnt it? The girl whu posted on the entry against guys was saying tt it is entirely guy's fault. I was just saying tt nothing in this world is one sided, except perhaps love. Girls suffer, guys to suffer. Not being self righteous, just responding to tt girl's blog, u have to understand. She said girls getting raped during war, but guys did suffer by being forced out of their family to fight in wars, when the war could be avoided. So yeah, understand wad i mean.

Went to Church to teach a China exchange student English todae. He got into Bedok View express stream, much more remarkable than i am. He was late todae, so went to the primary department to look-see. Dr. Tang's 4 princesses, haha, eldest smart and snobbish sometimes, 2nd weird, 3rd+4th=mayhem! But miraculously, the one who kept talking to me was his eldest daughter, Sarah Tang. His kids made me forget all my troubles, pity tt he doesnt have ani sons, i would be able to communicate better. But aniwae, kids r all fun. They say the darnest things tt u could hardly imagine. Haha.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Preparations made for the new semester

Printing timetables and module list, clearing last semester notes and assignments, throwing awae rubbish is wad i have been doing these two daes. Have to create a neat environment to start my new semester. This is my final year and my last chance to score. Although i cant get a high GPA, a decent one would be much better than my current one. At least i wun receive stares from my employer when I go for any job interviews in future.

Well, I have cleared most of the things in my room, but there is something that I have yet to clear; my mind. My mind is still filled with unhappy memories and uncertainties. Full of regrets, remorse, failures, insults, injustice and unfairness within me. Take Joanna for example, upon hearing my name she doesnt want to talk to me anymore. Hard to please girls sometimes, so nv have anithing to do with them, lest they complain that they r alwaes the one who suffer. This analogy dun alwaes work in the current world now. Look at what u see now? Not men raping women, is woman throwing themselves to men. I am not saying that the cases of raping is extinct now, just that this is in addition to rape. Woman sleeping and cohabiting with an older guy, dumping her current boyfriend. Man bought a house for her so that he can cohabit with her without being noticed by his wife. Woman not satisfied with just cohabiting as she wants man's possesions. Woman killed man's wife, so that man can marry woman. When man married woman, man fell seriously sick. Woman plot to make man's sickness worse. She added something to his daily medicine intake. It is normal fruit juice, insuspuicious. However if the medicine is taken together with the fruit juice, it will affect one's health. Man grew weak, until a point he cannt move and speak properly. Woman changed the details in his will and made 80% of his possesion hers instead of his sons. Finally, woman murdered man in the hospital.

Took this out from a Hongkong drama. Although it is just a drama, it was said to be a true story. You see how scheming women can be now? Moreover, woman dun alwaes suffer. Eve was the first human who sinned, but as Adam is a man and he suppose to lord over his wife, he has to take full responsibility. It became "Adam was the first man who sinned" not "Eve was the first human to sinned". Ok fine women being raped and killed during wars, this i have nth 2 sae. But wad about guys/boys being dragged out from homes to join the army? Everyone suffers, this is not a one sided world.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
A step closer to my ambition.

Finally, with the help of the Heavenly Father, I am able to pursue my final year in my diploma course in NYP. I am another step closer to my ambition, although it is still far. Someone's blog made my desire to adopt kids burn stronger than ever. She wrote that women r alwaes the one whu suffer and everything..blah blah blah i m lazie to name it all. Some guys just want to take a free ride, she said. Well, i m going to make a difference. I will adopt kids that irresponsible teen-parents abandon, take it as I am atoning their sins.

But I beg to differ. Sometimes girls just throw themselves to guys for money. They leave their current partner without a word of notice. The next thing we knew, is a wedding card from tt woman, indicating tt she will be married to a guy 40 years her age. If you 1 mi 2 show u proof, go talk to a girl from my batch in Bartley whose nickname is "Mother Tigress", she will fill u in. Or u might want to go to her profile. She is part of my friendster list. Her frenster name is Junie, look at wad she believes in..in her profile. It will shock u but tts exactly wad she tinks. Talking about being cheap.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Finally able to update

Finally, after 1 long week, I am able to log in into my blog account to update. Bloody computer doesnt allow me to log in, kept refreshing upon my logging in. I have no choice but to use my aunt's laptop to log in into my blog and update. But not much happen, except the receiving of my results. Praise the Lord again as He answered my prayers. I successfully cleared my 2nd year and now pursuing my final year in NYP. Another year before SAF rob my hair. Well we will see wad will happen den.

Been playing Quest for Glory V: Dragon Fire. Quite an old action/RPG game. I remember the last time i played it was Primary 5, when my friend, Darren Tan brought it to my house. Quite a nice game, esp. the part where u have to choose one out of four girls to marry, quite realistic. Basically, there r four different girls, and you can choose 4 different characters to play as, Paladin, Fighter, Wizard and Thief. I tried the easiest one first, Thief. According to the game review, different character suits different girl. In this case, I chose Nawar. She plays hard to get, but actually she is one of the easiest to court. In the real world, she is considered the materialistic kind. Just buy her jewelleries, chocolates, and flowers and she will be urs. I tried another character, Paladin. Holy and just character. I chose Erana in this case, as she is the demure kind. Quite easy to court, but u have to sacrifice half of ur vitality points to save her from hell. And as u r the holy kind, she will fall for u just by talking to her and giving her flowers and finally the engagement ring. Gonna try completing Wizard, heard it is the hardest of the other 3 characters. Need lotsa mana potions to survive in the battles.

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Plans for future

Doing senseless stuff today. Jobless still of course. Who would want to work if you can't use the money you earned. I have no motivation to look for a part time job, seeing that my mum still doesnt want me to take charge of my own money. Well, my real adulthood is drawing near, so all I have to do is to endure. Yeah, of course ladies hate to see guys still tied to their mothers' apron, esp. financial wise. Why? No money to entertain them of course. But I am not prepared to get married. I dun 1 2 get cheated by women in future. I am still thinking whether to adopt a guy or a girl. If i adopt a guy, would I want him to stay single like me? Knowing my feud against girls, I wonder if I will stop him from getting married. Girl is a little troublesome, i have no knowledge on how to take care of them. But after a while, i have made up my mind to adopt guys. Why the sudden decision? Well...I have been reading thru my tags on my tagboard and I am surprised to come across 1. That person claimed to be a Redemeer(bleaghz!) and accused mi of being a PAEDOPHILE. According to the dictionary, a paedophile is an adult who is sexually attracted to children. I adopt children for a good reason, I want them to be successful in life. I dun 1 2 be accused of being someone I aint. Even if I managed to raise daughters successfully, tis wad they can say, "who noes wad u do to them at home?". After a while, I thought that adopting guys would be the same. They can say, "who noes if u r the next Michael Jackson?". My ambition is to be the next Watari, to nurture geniuses. I cant let tis thinking spoil my reputation. So why not establish a new orphanage instead? My mind is in a whirl now. Why must there be so many people against me? It reallie makes me very tired. If we can just get along, it benefits all of us. Why? I have faults I want to change but...DAMN IT WHY AM I NOT GIVEN THE TIME TO CHANGE. TIME AFTER TIME I TRIED TO CHANGE MYSELF, THESE PEOPLE KEPT PUSHING ME, INSULTING ME, AND SAYING ALL THOSE NASTY THINGS ABOUT ME! I DUN EVEN DARE RETURN TO MY OWN ALMA MATER UNNECESSARILY! JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME CHANGE! IF U KEEP PUSHING ME, THINGS WILL STILL REMAIN AS IT IS! IF YOU DESTROY THE PUPA, THE CATERPILLAR CANT CHANGE INTO A BUTTERFLY. GET THE ANALOGY?

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
serious boredom results

Due to serious boredom, I did the most "interesting" thing today. I activate Death Note Anime episodes and recorded interesting phrases by L, Light, Watari, and Ryuk. I felt that the desktops sounds are a little dull, so I have decided to changed it:

Log in Windows: when L introduced himself to Light during the university orientation.
Log out Windows: When Light bade Raye Penbar goodbye before he died accordingly to what Light wrote in the Death Note.

I even did sound edition for MSN Messenger:

New mail, contact online: Watari's requests for sending mail over to L

Nudge: Watari informing L about Matsuda's distress call

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
U dunno wad it is like 2 be like me

Welcome To My Life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

After seeing the tag by "afriend"(just deleted it to avoid ani misunderstandings), I felt myself in the dumps todae. If it werent for Ben, Raymond and Wei Siang asking mi out to watch a comedy, I tink I will be crying alone in my room. Fancy being known as a stalker when I didnt even follow any girl. Wad I wrote in my entries in my blog are all talking about my rejections in relationships. It happened naturally. I didnt follow any girls on their wae home, nor did I check the time of when they come online or where will they be at a certain time. If I met them, I will talk to them. Sometimes, I will only tok 2 them if they approach me. Other than tt, I wun delibrately create chances to meet them. This is not called stalking, calling me a stalker is too much. During the bus trip to meet them in PS, I heard a song and felt much better. Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan.

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

This is the part tt made me realise how stupid I was to feel so bad and to blame tt guy. To be ignorant is not a sin. He/she didnt noe wad happened to me, or who I reallie am, so i cant blame him/her. Thats for this tagger's case only. For the case of "haha", i only have one song tt suits him.

Me Against The World

We're not gonna be
Just a part of their game
We're not gonna be
Just the victims
They're taking our dreams
And they tear them apart
Til everyone's the same
I've got no place to go
I've got no where to run
They love to watch me fall
They think they know it all

I'm a nightmare, a disaster
That's what they always say
I'm a lost cause, not a hero
But I'll make it on my own
I've gotta prove them wrong
Me against the world
It's me against the world

We won't let them change
How we feel in our hearts
We're not gonna let them control us
We won't let them shove
All their thoughts in our heads
And we'll never be like them
I've got no place to go
I've got no where to run
They love to watch me fall
They think they know it all

I'm a nightmare, a disaster
That's what they always say
I'm a lost cause, not a hero
But I'll make it on my own
I'm gonna prove them wrong
It's me against the world
Me against the world

Now I'm sick of this waiting
So come on and take your shot
You can spit all your insults
But nothing you say is gonna change us
You can sit there and judge me
Say what you want to
We'll never let you in

I'm a nightmare, a disaster
That's what they always said
I'm a lost cause, not a hero
But I'll make it on my own
Me against the world

I'm a nightmare, a disaster
That's what they always said
I'm a lost cause, not a hero
But I'll make it on my own
I've got to prove them wrong
They'll never bring us down
We'll never fall in line
I'll make it on my own
Me against the world

words in red is of emphasis

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Devastated once more

Holidays are here once again, and I am getting restless like before. Didnt manage to do much today, except going online and researching on what to include in my new novel. So far, I havnt thought of a good title yet. Thought of naming it, "Crossed Paths", but I dunnoe its title is catchy enough. Sent Walter the character profiles and he is now on the midst of designing them. Gonna reallie thank him for helping me admist his busy schedule.

She came online today, but I guess my reputation in my alma mater was so bad tt after a while she stopped talking to me. I wonder what is so fun about spoiling other people's reputation? I for once dun find it amusing, i find it ridiculous. Well maybe humans r tt ridiculous nowadaes. I wonder when I will be able to walk out of this dark shadow hanging over me day by day. Well, the dae will definitely come. The sun never fails to rise from the east day by day. One day, perhaps, one day, I will be able to see light shining on my path as God cleared the shadow that has been haunting me for so long.

eXiä