`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Misunderstandings to be cleared(wad a pain...)
I would like to emphasize that wadever i wrote in this blog is base on my own feelings and not what others think of me. I hope u wun get the wrong idea. Sorry if u did.
Friday, May 26, 2006
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
trials and tribulation i had in the path of luv made mi stronger
Met Kenny, an old church fren at Dhoby Ghaut MRT station. He was asking me about the problems i m facing because i seem a little hurt and miserable when he saw my blog. i told him that everything is over..i m just staying single for someone right now. He was like, "Single becuz of true luv? haha, darren u nv change. The trials and tribulations which u face in ur love life is wad made u make strong and firm decisions." Well..ya..a little stronger after every fall. I dun regret my choice though. It sounds a little silly doing this...but too bad. I have found the girl i truly love and care for early. So as long as i m alive, i will not like another girl. I dunnoe hw she feel when i ask sam to pass her tt msg. She wun cry i noe...i m not worth her tears. You r a real special gem audrey..i dun deserve u. Go find the one in ur life...and be happy..
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
its over..destined to be single for life..
Finally got sam to hlp me ask for her feelings for me(thanks sam!) it seems that she thinks it is impossible for us to be together. So sam asked me to move on in life. Well, there are many waes to move on rite? I chose to move on by staying single. My love for her is too deep to be forgotten...so i chose 2 just stay single for the rest of my life. So this is my message to her:
Audrey..grab the guy that u truly love before he slips pass u. Love him and treasure him. I dun mind u forgetting that u noe Darren in ur life, but i dun 1 u 2 have ani regrets in life. If u feel lost in the end, just remember: I will always be there for u..no matter wad happens. I will not cry becuz its wad God has chosen for me. i will nv regret my choice. U r definitely my greatest gift in life..the best gift and blessing i ever had. I wun forget u as long as i live. Audrey..I Love You...Good luck...
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
We crossed paths
Todae was like any other school dae--->booorrrrinnng...
Cant find the motivation to study, not if she is around that is. Data and Network Communications, got a damn boring tutor. He can take one hour to complete his so called "lab briefing". Gosh is he a preacher man or some shit? Lab was kinda short todae..just have to feel in yes or no thats all, one word answer question. Like any other dae, i tot i wun be able to see her in school. But gosh, i saw her on my wae to the MRt station. my heart lurched..but i said nothing. Crossed paths..but no words exchanged..not even a word of hello. I feel so stoopid..but aniwae i dunnoe hw 2 express my feelings in front of girls, alwaes so cold towards dem...ppl even suspect mi as a gay. i m not a gay okie..i just dunno how to express my feelings in front of a person of the opposite sex.
Monday, May 22, 2006
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Are you people sure love is simple?
Love is simple...love is simple...is tis phrase true at all? Even Jay Chou the music genius is singing tis song Simple Love 简单爱. I dun tink it is true. Why? If luv is simple, den it shouldnt hurt. But why do love turn out to be hurting in the end? Maybe i havnt ani successful incidents, but come on..it is proven love isnt tt simple. It doesnt mean u seriously like one person, the person will like u back. Outdated, tts wad i call it. Love is only simple in a two sided luv. If love is one sided, love is no longer simple...it might turn out to become a tragedy. Take MVP Valentine's Taizi for example. He was seriously in luv with xiaoxi..and spend so much time and energy to be with her. In the end, did taizi end up with xiaoxi? No...in the end..xiaoxi and duan cheng feng end up together again..cuz both were seriously in luv with each other. Wad abt audrey and me? Ha, we can nv be together...as long as audrey continues to reject mi. But i tink i will just leave things as it is. Why m i so dumb/stubborn? Simple, somethings can never be changed...not matter how time trys to change it.
This module sux big time. Not only it is difficult...the lecturer cum tutor is also 1 idiot. Quiz, quiz, quiz. Okay maybe the quiz is organised by the maths department, but the freakin requiz again and again until we get a grade B is definitely ur idea. Gonna slap the hell out of u, it is not as if u r going to take our requiz results. I tink i will have to repeat this semester becuz of tis module. I dun tink i will screw microprocessor technology as we have Weng Kee to hlp us. Darn it! Why cant i get a proper tutor for maths?
Intended to sms her to ask her for her MSN add cuz i tink she just changed it. I changed my mind in the end as i tink it is no pt. She wun start the conversation with me unless i start it. And the problem is, i dunno hw to start it properly. In the end, she will just keep replying mi one or three words replies or worse, no replies. Maybe just smsing will be good for the time being...it is difficult to regain our frenship and most importantly...trust...
"I vowed to live out my life together with u...easier said than done..."
"Dilly dally shilly shally..." tis is wad i have quote out from Final Fantasy VII Advent Children. Well, tts wad i have been doing...dilly dallying...nt moving on in life. I cant put down the past and move on, cant get a grip of myself. It hurts me so much to see her sad and worse of all, i dunnoe wad she is so miserable abt. She nv tells mi a thing, cuz i tink i m an umimportant character in her life, no pt telling mi anithing. I had a dream last nite. It seems like a beautiful dream at first, but in the end..it turns out to be my worse nightmare... I dreamt tt she finally agreed to meet me at a certain area. I was so happie...i set off an hour before the time we agreed. However, I forgotten the place we have agreed to meet. Worse of all, I forgotten how she looked like all of a sudden. I feel so helpless walking around, as if i have walked one round around the world. My heart was questioning "Audrey...where r u..?" In the end, I end up at the edge of a cliff. Feeling there is no hope left, i jumped off the cliff. At that moment, I woke up from my sleep, breaking out sweat...feeling scared. Can someone interprete tis dream for mi? Wad izit i m facing...or wad izit that is abt to happen? I m lost...reallie lost...
Monday, May 15, 2006
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Tearing down the old Bartley= tearing my heart apart
Haha, read audrey's blog todae..she said aint being herself cuz she started missing those daes when she passed by the old macpherson site. Well thats u audrey, u treasure memories. If u ask me...i miss those daes in the old bartley...the site before we move macpherson. That is wad started everything. Her first time on the stage during speech dae, her boldness arguing with the DM, soft side of her when she cried. Ya i remember as if it only happened yesterdae. Those were the real good old daes. We still smile at each other when we see each other. Right after we moved into macpherson...everything seemed to change. Not everything is as smooth as before...so is the relationship between us. My biggest mistake is to acknowledge Ms Shu Juan as my fren...4get it shall not explain ani further. I remember tt year when we moved in, there was a leadership training and i was present too. She cried when she was facing one of the obstacle...it reallie makes my heart pain seeing her cry. How i hope i can hlp her jump so that she wun have to cry. The only think i can do at tt point of time is to pick up the safety helmet for her...i felt so helpless. Slowly...our relationship turn sour...until now...we are become like strangers. Audrey, if u r here reading my blog, listen; I dun expect you to like me in return animore, i juz hope we can be frens again...like we first met. We used to talk about stuffs when we met...i just want to return to those times. U met the guy u like...i hope u will be with him..at least u will be happy. Audrey...pls...dun ignore me animore...its almost unbearable and tormenting to me. Do me a favor...and bring tis lost child back into the light again...
Sunday, May 14, 2006
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
The Ten Commandments will never fade away, even after Jesus's death
Today is Church day again. Sermons are by Dr Yap. His sermons might sound dull but it is real important. I am really disappointed to see my brother falling asleep beside me when Dr Yap is trying to transfer real powerful message from the Bible to us. Today he especially emphasised on the importance of the Ten Commandments. It seems that in the past, only a believer who obeys the Ten Commandments is considered as a real believer. In the early 20th century, believers treat the Ten Commandments as part of their lives, they took the commandments seriously. Wad about now? Many churches doesnt take the Ten Commandments into account these days, and they dare say they love Jesus. Reallie feel like giving these people a tight slap across their faces. WAKE UP! The church is not for you to go in and bang on drums and sing hymns with a little pop flavour added into it. You think it is cool. Well, it is not cool. Drums rhythms in hymns? You must be kidding. Adding even a little drum rhythm inside doesnt makes it sound like a hymn, sounds a little like the world's music or even a little satanic. I cant tolerate churches whu uses drums during their worship sessions and make a whole load of noises, saying that this is the wae to show they love God. Ha, make me laugh kid! What God wants to hear is your voices and not the rhythm on ur stoopid instruments. Stick to the ancient Christian's custom will do u nothing but good. Just a little piano or guitar as background music will do. Do you want me to hire the whole orchestra band to play for u so that u will sing? People just dun get it. If you think I m wrong, i will list down a whole load of testaments right here in my blog to let u people noe the right attitude we shld have when worshipping the Lord, which includes worshipping when we sing in unison to the Lord our God.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
I m in no position to talk about others.
Today's trip to simlim/amk is one trip which teach mi one unforgettable lesson. I hesitated to go todae as i will have to meet alvin's fren. Is not that i dun 1 2 meet her, or i like her or sth like that. I reallie dun want to see girls who have similar features as her. Todae there is another one whu have familiar features as her. I reallie think GOD is using tis method to punish me for my sins. I couldnt get together with her...and GOD is alwaes making me remember those unhappie pasts of mine by forcing me to come across girls whu makes me remember of her. First, it was Josephine, buti cant believe she look like her and characters can be tt different, she is not worth mentioning ani further.Second is Qian Hui, one of my lecture mates. She have her eyes and her smile is almost identical to hers. Third is Alvin's fren Shan Shan, eyes like her and sounds exactly like her. Fourth, Kenneth's ex, forgotten wads her name and i rather not noe. Almost a photocopied image of her. Weird though she doesnt looks like the person i saw in her profile, reallie weird. I got a shock when i see the real her todae. Forget it...its just an image..
I alwaes laughed at Kenneth, saying that he does not noe how to handle relationships well. Well after tis trip to k pool, i haf to admit he is wae better than me. At least he still communicate with her ex. I m the coward whu alwaes hide behind walls. She shld stay where she is...my memories...4ever...
It is Jereline's birthdae todae. tis little sister of mine is finally 14, i tink she can take care of herself now. She is reallie sweet, alwaes making me happie. She is alwaes there to cheer me up..haha like an angel lolx! Promised to go out with her on the 19th of may which is the last dae of her paper. Gonna take neoprints to keep as memories :)Placed Carina and Jereline's photo besides hers in my wallet *grins*. That is to remind myself tt i still have two cute sisters whu r alwaes behind me.^.^ Happy Birthdae Jereline! Thanks for alwaes being there. Quite sad to see Samantha's facing probs. Cant give her ani useful advice as i m a sucker in romance. However, she is strong. Thats wad made her stand till tis dae despite facing so many probs. Continue to be strong Samantha! You have frens u can rely on, dun give up in life!
Friday, May 05, 2006
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
SUPPORT PAP!
Support PAP during the elections! The PAP has been our pillar for such a long time and no one can deny that we owe PAP our country's success. Why are all of you complaining? No lift ar, walk lar! Healthy lifestyle rite? You want Singaporeans to become ah puis isit? Complain about the fact that senior citizens can work after the age of 70? Ya, senior citizens shld rest but hello? u assholes REQUESTED the government to let senior citizens to work because they have nothing to do. The government has granted ur wish and now all of u sae it is unfair. Den wad u want the PAP government to do? Might as well not have a government and u take care of urselves. Shit you all tis 忘恩负义de Singaporeans. Whu was the one whu shout "Mendeka!" until his voice became hoarse. Whu was the one whu went all the wae to England to extend the date of British troops withdrawal? Whu was the one whu convinced the British to grant Singapore independence? It was Lee Kuan Yew， the founder of PAP. ok maybe you think David Marshall is the one whu shld claim the credit, but he gave up when he lost to the British and Labour Front didnt turned up for elections. Lee Kuan Yew never gave up despite being rejected by the British numerous times. If you tink Lee Kuan shldnt have sued ppl so easily, let me tell u tis, if u dun put words into ppl mouth, u tink he is so free to sue u? Wadever i m done listing a part of Singapore's history. I can tell you if PAP is no longer the government, Singapore wun stand a chance to survive in this world, YOＵ MARK ＭＹWORDS!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
I reallie dunnoe
I read her blog today again. I told myself to lock myself awae from her life...but somehow i just cant do it. And I tink i had my punishment. Her blog indicates that she like someone...and somehow doesnt noe how to express her feelings. I was reallie quite upset when i see this, but am happy to see she found someone she likes. I hope she will express her feelings to that person...cuz i dun 1 her to suffer the same fate as me...miserable not becuz of others..but becuz of my pessimistic attitude...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Wish you all the best..
This time i tink she wish tt she will find her Mr Right soon. Well it is about time. Everyone whu have eyes can see i m not good enough for her. I cant give her anything. So i hope she will find a guy whu will give her happiness and lead her into a peaceful and comforable life...
Monday, May 01, 2006
`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
i promise u...
i just read her blog todae. I dunnoe if she is referring to our situation. Can see tt she reallie wants everything to end peacefully. If u ever come to tis blog again, i want you to noe, i also feel the same wae. I was hid from the truth for two years. If it is possible to make time turn back..i will do anything in my power to stop tis problem from happening. You are just so kind hearted...that is why I understand that you have been reallie disturbed by tis. If that is what you hope...I will not appear in front of you animore, i promise you tis. You will not hear from me ever again, and I will not bother you animore. You are rite...u r not responsible for my unhappiness. I made everything miserable..and worse of all...i made ur life miserable. I m willing to face the consequences. Audrey Wong..goodbye...
eXiä
SETSUNA name: Darren Ng age: 21
Occupation: SAF Gundam Meister
bday: 06101988
WISH
*Christ 2nd coming
*A just world
*God's better half for me
