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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Busy week

Some off campus study week it is huh? I hadnt the time to take a breather since monday. Just came back from my Church gospel camp. Well, everything went well. Met a couple of keen followers, I hope God's love will touch them and somehow bring them to Him. I went back at around 11:30pm without joining my bros and sis in Christ for games in East Coast Park for I know who organised the games. I need the energy and sanity for my busy schoolwork schedule, playing games organised by him will only make me lose both. Zhang Jing, Ben, Thomas and whoever helped in my Equiz, thanks for your great help. I didnt expect full marks for all I wished for is a decent mark for my last try in the Equiz. Thanks so much for doing your best for my Equiz.

I somwhow have this urge to share something that one of brothers in Christ shared during our sharing session today. Cuz one of the non believers asked, am I good enough for Salvation? What about those who cant read the Bible? Isnt it unfair to them? Raymond, the brother I am talking about, used a verse in the Gospel of Luke, whereby it tells us about the robbers who are crucified alongside with Jesus Christ. According to the history of the Roman Empire, only one who had committed a real heinous crime is eligible to be crucified on the cross. So this two robbers arent just some ignorant robbers, they are serious offenders. At first both robbers mocked Jesus. However after a while, one of the robbers realised that without God, there is really no more life after death. He believed at the verge of his death, asking Jesus to remember him when His Salvation is complete. Jesus promised him. So I believe anyone would be eligible for Salvation.

Have been watching Deathnote animated series this few days. I have to say I am reallie disgusted with the actions of Light Yagami, the human who held the Deathnote which one of the Death Gods dropped from the Death God's realm. At first, it was just the writing of names of people who committed heinous crime. After tt, it is writing of names of people who gets in his way. Be it the worst criminal or anyone, you cant take their lives awae just like that. No one is fit to take another's life. However, talk is cheap. I am sure if the Deathnote were to fall into the hands of another person, I am sure they will do the same thing. They will use it to get rid of people whom they think are evil. Guilty as I am, I have evil thoughts too if that book were to land in my hands. If that book were to land in my hands, the first thing i do is to write the names of the spammers who spammed my blog. Yeah, you have to know the names of the person and also the person's face clear in ur mind in order to kill one in the Deathnote. Well, I noe exactly who they are, I am just acting ignorant as there are somethings which man are better off being ignorant. I have to repent to ever have this thought of killing.

Strangely after my second love setback a month ago, I decided to start over again without looking back. Guess that I had reallie learnt a great lesson on looking back. This time, I decided to confess or I will regret like the most recent case. I did confess yesterday. It happens that she is currently so scared to love again for love has left real deep scars on her. Well, at least I think this time I aint waiting for nothing. I hope I would be able to succeed tis time round.



Tuesday, November 28, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
perplexed

Went over to Alvin's hse yesterday to do the e quizzes for the off campus study week. I must say if there is a feedback on the off campus study, i m not going to hold back with the comments. The server is terribly laggy. Started logging in since 2:30pm and we only started doing the quiz at 6 sharp. We ended up doing programming and one equiz. But it is also at midst of waiting, I saw the Jay Chou's MV 退后 for the veri first time. Forgive me for being so back dated, I havnt been patronising K box or party world ever since I was broke. OK the comments given by others on this MV was kind of terrible, but I personally think that it is quite meaningful, although up till nw i still see no link in the song and the music video. Jay Chou starred as a ruffian who goes around gang fighting while Hebe is the keeper of a drink stall the slums. As Jay frequently uses the slums as his "battleground", he patronises Hebe's drink store often. And as time goes by, they fell in love with each other. They seemed happily when they r together, with Hebe teaching Jay that violence is not the only way to solve conflict. Until one day, when Hebe's store is badly trashed up by the rival gang of Jay. Jay was pissed off and brought his gang to seek for revenge. Alas, at the midst of revenging in the KTV lounge, the whole gang was arrested by the police. Looking Jay straight in the eyes when he comes out with his hands handcuffed by the police, Hebe ran away. Her drink stall was out for rent and she was nowhere to be found. After Jay was released from prison, he turned over a new leaf and decided to rent the stall which Hebe tended few years back and started business. One day, a kid came to buy drink from his stall, and his mother waiting a few steps behind him. Guess who his mother was. It was Hebe. Looking at Hebe, Jay Chou thought to himself, "I have changed, but its too late...".

Well it looks boring, but Jay ended this MV quite nicely. It teaches us not to hurt our loved one. The troubles you caused, you might not be afraid of the consequences, but have you thought of how ur loved one will feel?

Felt reallie lonely and down this few days. Been seeing couples holding hands, walking with each other. I am alwaes going home alone, so imagine the feeling within me when I see couples walking rite in front of my very eyes. Looking at them, I looked to my right, then to my left. My shadow's the only one beside me. Well, there are a no. of nice girls who suits me around me, but after that incident, I have deicded not to jump to conclusions. I kinda thinkgirls are reallie good in manipulating feelings of people. You might tink that given the wae she treats you, there might be a chance that both of you will end up together. In the end, she ran awae with another guy before you can even tell her how you feel. That is why, never again will I jump to conclusions. There are currently two girls who gave me the same feelings, but I brushed it aside this time. I was afraid history will repeat itself. Keeping mum from the girl you like about ur feelings for her is more that you can bear. Maybe I am not the cut out for romance. Feel like falling into a deep sleep and nv to wake up again.



Wednesday, November 22, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
memories remain...

Sad, my idol Evelyn Gunawan is leaving for the States at the beginning of next year. Couldnt sleep the whole nite when she told me tis news yesterdae. I was reallie veri sad upon hearing this news. I have been idolising her since Secondary 3, for she is reallie a girl's role model. Just look at her, she is rich but she dun splurge it unnecessarily. She doesnt put on airs and everything. I reallie respected her since Secondary 3, though i didnt develope ani feelings for her, even till today, still no feelings for her; numb; only respect. I thought she had left for another foreign country when I added her in MSN. But she is still here in Singapore, and by the time I knew she is, she is already leaving. The sorrows and regrets I have within me is simply unimaginable. Well, an idol nv gt seen easily by their fans rite. Take it as she is some singer or some sort whom I wun even dream of seeing her. I hope 2 complete folding 100 paper cranes before she leaves.



Sunday, November 19, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Soloman, the man of great wisdom

Praise the Lord for King Solomon's existence, for he is blessed by Him with great wisdom which no man before or after his era can surpass. The things he wrote in the book of Proverbs was truely enlightening. It has stop me from taking action against those whu spammed and hurt my pride. For I no longer want to remain as a fool whu is hot headed and lead by the nose by the claws of sin.

Chatted with Evelyn, a fellow junior schoolmate of mine back when I was in Bartley. She was the girl I respected, even though we never knew each other until last nite. Why do I respect her? Not her looks, no definitely not. Not her wealth or status, but by the wae she lives despite her status. It is hard 2 find someone so humble despite her dignified status and wealth in the society. She isnt materialistic, I am sure of it. Vainity is a common part of a woman's life, but she doesnt overdo it. And her smiles are as true as it can be, unlike the hypocrites i seen throughout my life. Peace-loving, simple and kind hearted. These are the people I look up to. No matter how ordinary they seem 2 people, they r the extraordinary ppl whom i respect in life. Even though she is one year my junior, i respected her more than the leaders whu r of the same level as me. That is probably the reason why I dared not approach her, cuz the only thing I had of her was purely respect. Not puppy love, not any other mushy stuff which some childish punks might tink of. I certainly hope that Singaporean girls will one day look up to her as their role models, for statistics has shown that the population of unmaterialistic girls in Singapore r decreasing..which is truely disappointing...



Saturday, November 18, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
great feelings..

I wonder how I felt when I see another decent girl slip off from my fingers again. Second time, SECOND time. Of course a lot of ppl asked me what abt the girl i like when i was sec 1. Oh please, i dun consider tt as decent. I saw her left, off 2 see her Mr Right after school on friday. The sun sets right after her, and i noe it is all over. Moreover today, the sling bag that zhang jing and her paid for snapped. My mum fixed it by clipping those kind of mountain climbing hook 2 it. But wads broken is broken, it cannt be changed. But I will by no means throw tt bag awae, its the only memory which I can keep with me.



Wednesday, November 15, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Hard on cash..

After buying the birthday present, I am so darn broke again. Hope there is enough time for me 2 save enough for Alvin's birthdae.



Monday, November 13, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
another scumbag.

Another scumbag spammed my blog again. Weee~~~Singaporeans sure gt nth 2 do. And alas, he still gt the cheek to call himself a redemeer. Listen, I only recognise 1 Redemeer and tt is Jesus Christ. I admit I am childish,

"admit that sometimes the way you do things are too childish till a certain extent that the Society cannot tolerate."

I admit it wae before u spammed my blog. You are little too late scumbag. Pls remove the plank from ur eye before u remove the speck of dust from my eye. I dun believe that you are any bros or sis in Christ, for Christians nv judge each other. You are just another low down scum whu is trying 2 bring mi down. I AM TRYING 2 CHANGE BUT U R PUSHIN UR LUCK TOO FAR! I will NOT delete ur tag dun wurry since u 1 2 see hw xia lan u r. I am not a perfect man, no one is. I am only leaving ur tag in my tagboard 2 let the whole world see hw xialan u r, and for my Christian brothers and sisters to see hw u used the Lord's name in vain.



Saturday, November 11, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
rich scums

First of all, I would like to apologise 2 Thomas. Maybe I bottled up my mood too much yesterday in school till I exploded yesterday nite. It was a moment of fury, dun take it 2 heart please. I see you have cute little rich scums whu are backing u up by spamming my blog. Well, i noe they did it on their own free will and not led by u. This entry is especially for them only.

Why do I call you people rich scums? Cuz I have an idea who r the usual spammers whu spammed my blog. Judging from the words u alwaes use, like "fugly", I am sure u ppl havnt been spamming my blog for just one time. I noe you are rich, registering to Broadband which allows u 2 log into the internet using different IP addresses. However, no matter how rich you are, I mean no matter hw rich ur PARENTS are, I despise the looks of u. Although ur parents hold respectable faces in this society, that is ur parents acheivements not urs. In fact, you are just scums who disgrace ur parents name. Going up to ppl's blog using low level vulgarities to spam, u all r just a complete low down scum of the earth. I m getting worried for ur parents, how are they going 2 expect their spammer scum kids to continue to honour the name of their own family? Moreover you are just wasting ur time, I can easily delete spams as fast as I read them. So the spams which u created will turn up in the same plight as u;trash. You dun like me insulting ur character, then jolly well stop the spamming, you are cramping my style. Get lost!



Friday, November 10, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
yet another disappointing dae

Today is another disappointing day for me. Someone least expected quarrelled with me today, and it is also someone least expected who stir up this quarrel.

Least expected quarrel party---> Benedict Seah
Least expected stirrer party---> Thomas Foo

Well it all starts from yesterday. I only have one wae to describe it; the butterfly effect. I only noe the elaboration in Chinese:

“一只蝴蝶在巴西拍翅旁,随时都能在德克萨市中刮龙卷风。”

And sad to say Thomas is the butterfly which i m trying to describe. Yesterday, Ben wasnt in a good mood, so we went down to the canteen 2 eat. When the lecture ended, Alvin called mi 2 collect my bag. So before I went up, Benedict ask mi 2 call Zhang Jing and the rest with her to come down. So I thought he is looking for her. I have 2 emphasise here that I was merely a messenger, a MESSENGER! FULLSTOP! I did what I was told. After I collected my bag from Alvin and bidded goodbye, I went to look for Zhang Jing telling her that Ben called her 2 come down. She asked me what was the problem. Okay this I have to do some emphasis before my tagboard become flooded up for no reason. This was wad I said. I said MAYBE BECAUSE BEN IS IN A BAD MOOD, THATS WHY HE WANTS TO TOK TO YOU HOPING THAT HE WILL FEEL BETTER. I DIDNT TELL HER THE NATURE OF THE PROBLEM. I DIDNT TELL HER WHY, WHY WAS HE IN A BAD MOOD. I DID NOT!!! DUN PUT WORDS INTO MY MOUTH MR FOO! U SAID TT I SPOILED EVERYTHING IF I WERE 2 TELL HER THAT HE IS IN A BAD MOOD. HELLO~ BEING IN A BAD MOOD IS NOT STH EMBARASSING. YOU ARE ALWAYS SAYING THAT I AM ALWAYS IN A BAD MOOD, DID I CONFRONT U ABT THAT? AND YOU CAN ASKED ME WHY DID RUO JUN NOE ABT IT ALSO, SHE WAS RIGHT BESIDE ZHANG JING FOR GOD'S SAKE!! EVEN WHEN BEN APOLOGISED TO ME AND ASK ME TO GO FOR LUNCH WITH HIM, YOU STILL WANT TO BRING IT OUT BY INSISTING THAT IT IS STILL MY BIG MOUTH. I WAS ASKED TO BE A MESSENGER BY ALL OF YOU, IF U WERE 2 SAY I HAVE THE BIG MOUTH, IT WAS YOU WHU EXPANDED IT NOT ME! Next time, if u have any message to pass, pls pass it on ur own. I extremely hate to be accused for no reasons. And if u have any secrets to share outside, even if it is just a slight mood swing, NEVER ask me to join in if u dun trust me. I dun 1 2 be accused like today. My love bubble is already burst by a horrible truth yesterday, and u chose 2 rub salt into my wounds today. How ruthless can u get?



Thursday, November 09, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Heartbroken.

I just made it official yesterday, and I ended up in having a negative outcome within one dae. I just found out today from Ben that she has found her Mr Right and both are already prepared to go into a serious relationship. This feeling is like taking a jump from seventh heaven to hell. I was reallie hopeful, though the feeling isnt great. Reallie dun 1 2 tok abt it, i m reallie devastated. Shall stop my post here.



Wednesday, November 08, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
screwed maths quiz

Today was Maths quiz 1, and I screwed it up badly. Lose 5% of my overall maths results for nothing. I drilled on the maths question today. I was darn sure that it will probably come out the basics of each topic she taught. Little did I know that the teacher decided to kill us off within one quiz. The next quiz is two weeks away, and it is on fourier series. This is so stoopid, why must there be Engineering Mathematics in the Engineering world. It only makes life miserable.

I wonder if any of you have this experience of being with the girl you like everyday, but is forced by ur personal feelings to keep it from her that u like her? Well I am facing it currently. I thought I could never get over Audrey. Now I am very sure that I have included a final fullstop in that wonderful story. It is now the start of a new story. I was sure because even when my mum tore and threw awae her photos, I wasnt a bit miserable. Just felt a little sad for a while. I went to Causeway point with Alvin and CY today to get something for Andy Lau's birthday. Went pass a Samuel & Kevin's Outlet and saw a jacket on promotion which suits the girl I like presently. Simple and sweet. Costs $25, which is at a special discounted price. Looking at the pathetic amount in my wallet, I bet I wun be able to get in on time. By the time I saved enough, I tink the promotion would be longed over. It is reallie unbearable, she got me sth for my birthday and I dun have enough money to get her one. Worse of all, I dun even noe when her birthday is. Do I have wad it takes to gain her love? I want to confess, I want to noe hw she feels towards me. But I dun wanna feel hurt. It is not a sure thing tt I will get wad I want. It never happened in real life before. The worse feeling to have is when a guy in the same lecture hall tried to get touchy with her, I was forced to restrain myself from doing anything. I really wanted to push that guy away, grab her hands and run to another place and tell that I dun like her to be with other guys. Who am I to do that? Sometimes, I wonder if I am born to this world to love anyone. Cuz I dun seem to have guts to confess.



Tuesday, November 07, 2006

`Gundam 00 dispatching enemy ;
Troubleshooting madness

Enjoyed my off day today with a little Christian literature reading, and well a bit of Maths revision. Just took out the notes and revise them for a while. I hope I wun screw the quiz tmr. I finished reading the book by Dan Lucarini, "Why I left the Contemporary Christian Music Movement". Melvin thinks that he is a legalist judging from the title of his book. Well after reading that book, I think Mr Lucarini has predicted what Melvin thinks he is way before he tells me. This is quoted out from the book:

" Finally, I have a warning for Contemporaries who are convicted to make a change and for Traditionals willing to take a stand in the Church against CCM(Contemporary Christian Music). When you decide to oppose CCM in the Church, expect to be unfairly labelled by other Contemporaries as:

  • a Pharisee
  • a LEGALIST(still need a dictionary?)
  • placing traditions above Christ
  • being insensitive to the needs of unbelievers
  • having a judgemental spirit: "Who are you to judge?"
  • a hypocrite
  • living in the past
  • turning back the clock
  • opposed to anything new.

Contemporaries will use these convenient(and hurtful) labels in an attempt to marginalize and neutralize you. After all, what would happen to them if other people in your church paid attention to you and began to question the CCM status quo? They might lose their leadership and the power to determine the music used in the church. Even worse, you will expose their music philosophy as essentially man-centered. Of course, be careful not to say and do things that would validate any of these labels. For example, base your objections on biblical grounds, not on man's reasoning. Don't quote Scriptures out of context. Be gentle when you confront anyone. Ask than appear defensive. Stress that you are not opposed to all new music, only to music styles associated to immorality. Never use phrases like 'That's the way we've always done it' "

After reading till this point, I have to confess that I almost confronted the Contempararies in a ruffian manner. I was prepared to screw Melvin up with all the things Lucarini has recorded in the book. However, I chose not to in the end. Think about it, if I were to confront them and go against their music, I am the one who is sinning against God. It is not like they are going 2 listen to you. They arent going 2 take things from the mouth of an eighteen year old for real. The elders always say that the truth is always the most painful to hear. Moreover, Dan Lucarini was a former CCM leader. If he can walk out of the deception, I trust the rest will one day leave CCM.

It is troubleshooting techniques early in the morning tommorow. I sure hope that woman dictator wun give us a hard time tommorow. I still need the energy to serve the Church Ministry this weekend. I am newly baptised Christian, there are somethings which I have to learn in order to honour God's name in His work and ministry.






eXiä
SETSUNA
name: Darren Ng
age: 21
Occupation: SAF Gundam Meister
bday: 06101988


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