In my cousin's hse now. Couldnt get to sleep, so i decided to post an entry since i hadnt been posting.
During the start of the semester, I was wondering everyday to myself; when will the holidays arrive? Now that the holidays r finally here, is start wondering again; when will the next sem starts. Yeah, that exactly what I feel now. Well, i dun exactly mean that studying is fun, its pretty simple logic that teens doesnt like to touch books unless during desperate cases. Its just that when school is on, I m able to somehow "block" myself from looking into my personal and pathetic past. Now that I m so free, I started to let my mind go wild. And when my mind go wild, it doesnt take mi to the future, where the slogan in advertisments alwaes sae, "Reach for ur dreams and unlock the door to a beautiful world...". My mind started flashbacking to the past. Well, i dun reallie likes to tink of it though, cuz it kind of bother mi sometimes. Some parts of it r sweet, some parts of it reallie pisses mi off. Thanks to the Bible, which is a flawless book by the inspiration of God, I am able to minimise the chances of my mind from flashbacking. One word, holidaes stands for "crazy".
Apart of all this, I was into blog hopping these daes. Checking out the designs of blogs and also, the life of my frens and...ahem....her.
Well her entries definitely help mi a lot in life. It helps me to look at life at a different perspective. I hope she wun blame for quoting this out from her blog. Forgive me Audrey, but there r somethings that bares repeating:
"true love means never giving up"
I hope she reallie mean what she wrote. If she does, she may have already understood the wae I feel. I m not asking her to like accept me or wadever shit you silly people might think of, its ridiculous. Well, its a sense of relief to mi as what I want to gain at the end of this one sided relationship is not her acceptance, its not her in person, its not her heart, but her understanding in why i m so persistant. As long as she understands, there is nothing I think I should regret out of this. I dunno which fren she is talking about in her blog, but i m not going to make wild guesses or try to claim ani credits from it. As wad she had mentioned it to me earlier, I remembered vividly, "Pls DO NOT assume that my posting is abt u." But I m glad to see that particular phrase in her blog. It definitely tells mi that I didnt fell in love with the wrong person, even if i haf nothing to gain in this. Giving up marriage is a price i can live with for loving the correct person.
eXiä
SETSUNA name: Darren Ng age: 21
Occupation: SAF Gundam Meister
bday: 06101988
WISH
*Christ 2nd coming
*A just world
*God's better half for me
