Yesterday marks the start of a new semester. Wasnt so bad until night class came. Again, it was Kenneth Tan De Neng who starts pissing me off during night class. I assume Bo Yao is gonna be my partner for lab for night class, knowing Kenneth, the good for nothing twerp is going 2 sit down and let him do all the work. What did this maggot do? He sat beside Bo Yao straightaway before I even put my bag down on the chair. He demands me to work alone cuz he has already book Bo Yao way before school starts. Like as if I am going to buy tt story, Bo Yao already said he didnt know anything and I am sure after last semester's Microprocessor lab practices, he will rather die than be his partner. Well forget it, I dun mind working alone. The most pissed off part is when he emphasised to the teacher that everyone must have a partner and that I cannt work alone; I must partner Pei Ling the tyrant man-woman in our class. Freaking hell, fancy pushing those whom he dun like to me. Why dun u keep her for urself den since u get so excited when u heard her name? Whats most disappointing is that the whole class play along with him. They refuse to make any adjustments to it. If I were to be in Ben's class, I am sure Ben will stand up to make the necessary adjustments to it. Although most of his classmates dun see eye to eye with me, but I know they dun play childish games. Since my second semester during first year, I have been wanting to change my module group cuz my class treat me like a dog. When they need my help, they came to me politely like a master taming a dog to help him. Then when everything is over, they kicked me away and use me as a sort of entertainment when they are bored and when there is no jokes to crack, as if i m a dog trying to please the masters. Strangely though, I am able to bear with them until now. I m starting to tink tt i aint myself since the start of poly life. When I was in secondary school, when someone insults me, I will chose to fight even if the opponent is capable enough to skin me alive. Even if I die, I wun let anyone hurt my pride. Thats the mindset I have throughout my secondary school daes. But now, I seem reallie unaffected on the surface even if someone hurt my pride real badly. Alvin once told me that he dun understand why I can still remain so calm even when someone insulted my guts and everything. He didnt noe i wasnt like tt before. In times of troubles now, I just kept real quiet until the trouble died down. I think it might be because of Christ, He changed me from a real temperamental person into a calm person. However, there is still something which hasnt change much. I can forgive, but i still cant forget. I dunnoe why, I have been praying and trying veri hard to forget the damage and pain that others caused me, but I just cant seem to do it. I read a Christian literature "More than a carpenter" by Josh McDowell. There was one part of it which told me about forgiving. Your son breaks ur fav. vase, even if u say u forgive him, whu paid the price for the mess done. Not ur son, but u r. You are going to pay to replace a new vase isnt it? Thats the problem. You forgive the person, but whu is paying the price of sin in the end? U are. When someone hurled insults at u, forgiving him means u r willing to bear with the pschological pain when he caused u. I reallie dunnoe hw to forget the price which I have to pay for them when they insult me, even when I was constantly reminded that Jesus Christ paid dearly for our sins. Someone pls help me, I have a feeling I m going to have a real unhappy and regretful semester this sem.
eXiä
SETSUNA name: Darren Ng age: 21
Occupation: SAF Gundam Meister
bday: 06101988
WISH
*Christ 2nd coming
*A just world
*God's better half for me