The kick off of 2009 hasnt been a smooth one. Never in my life have I started a year so badly. When I was attached early december 2008, I thought all was well for me. I m not prepared for a sudden breakup in year 2009 and I wasnt even expecting it, but it did happened to me. I dunno how to face it for I am a greenhorn in such relationships. It seems that I have been used as a toy. I met her yesterday to take back my Death Note movie series from her. She handed it to me and just walked away without turning back. All this while, I have been holding on to tis glimpse of hope that she might patch back with me, but it seems that the answer is "dream on". I have alwaes been the world's biggest fool whenever it comes to situation like this. I was still holding on to the neoprints that we took. Behind the photo I wrote this message, "I never ever regretted being together with you, and I have treasured every min of our time together. The only regret that I had was not being able to make our relationship last. I am sorry..." I prepared to pass it to her when she pass me the DVDs. However, she walked awae so briskly that I wasnt fast enough to react to it. In the end, I chose to throw those photos into the dustbin. I know it isnt her fault cuz in a relationship, u cant blame either party. It could be her frens whu r brainwashing her. Well studies have shown that most men and women treat frens more importantly and trust them more than their partners. However, women are the more extreme party as they tend to trust their frens eyesight more than wad their partner can give them. Well what can I do? Her frens never seen me before. They might be those sadistic women who are eager to see the sorrow of a man, so they so called "brainwashed" her to make tis happen.
In addition to all these miserable exp., my unit plt mates arent giving mi a good time either. They are somehow prejudiced against me and I seemed to feel more alone in camp than ever. I am the only one in the whole plt whu doesnt have the rights to feel angry, flare up, show emotions, or vent anger. And I meant all the others have the rights to do tt but nt me. Wadever I do, they will alwaes have sth to sae. I tried to be nice, but they take treat me oppositely. I tried to forget it but I just cant. All men have temper, why cant I vent it? I am really super unhappy in my own unit. No one to turn to. How I wish BMT is all the requirements we need to get back our Pink I/C. It seems that these heartless creatures will land me in DB anytime in my remaining months in army.
eXiä
SETSUNA name: Darren Ng age: 21
Occupation: SAF Gundam Meister
bday: 06101988
WISH
*Christ 2nd coming
*A just world
*God's better half for me
